Monthly Archives: August 2005

still waiting

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It really is opposite world when Clarkey, far from freeing himself from the burden of restraint, takes this taut passivity upon himself to a degree hitherto unheard of. Watching him bat was wrecking my guts. The tension was massive. The wait continues. The Waugh–hole is beginning to show. These binary flickerings of faith are threatening to enter into a tedium of zeroes. But It is the very tension of the wait that provides me (yet) with the conviction that all is not lost. The wait must come to fruition at some point, and there really aren’t too many points left to go. The Oval must be immense for Australia. They have to play like they have been on the 3 last days of the last 3 tests for each and every day of what is going to be the ultimate test.

there is only the wait

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ah the frustration! Wating waiting waiting for some Australian player to lead a true and spirited fightback. Waiting for someone to launch themselves (in this topsy turvy world it is Flintoff who keeps launching himself deep into the spheres, taking his comrades with him) out of the hole that the Australians just keep digging themselves deeper and deeper into. They remind me of the creature in Kafka’s story ‘The Burrow’. It begins with a line something like, ‘I have just completed my burrow and I believe it to be perfect’. The rest of the story has the creature becoming more and more desperately paranoid about the noises of the small fry that he can hear tunneling in the earth around his burrow – he becomes convinced that the sounds he hears are being made by one massive predator against which his burrow will be no safeguard, slowly getting closer and closer. Despite this the creature is enamoured of his construction and will leave it only for the shortest snatches and only to watch over its entrance like a guard. Though it is clearly inadequate, he is unable to launch forth from his underground dwelling and the burrow becomes a trap. But of course there is still hope. In Deleuze and Guattari’s reading of ‘The Burrow’ the creature’s description of the dwelling is a ruse to trick the enemy. It is the enemy that will be trapped by the perfectly functioning machine that the burrow in fact is. The burrow is not a defensive trench, the creature fears nothing. Australia have forced England to make Australia follow on. Michael Clarke will never be in a better position to realise his full potential and free himself from the burden of restraint.

Q: where did Dizzy’s mojo go?

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A: McGrath’s regeneration continues. Body part by body part. During the Edgbaston test he took the opportunity to renew his legs, now he his working on his upper limbs. Dizzy’s awful, sad form slump begins to make sense if you think about how strenuous this process must be for McGrath. Physically regenerating a body part is no problem (that same old elbow one day, spanking new model elbow the next), but the new body is nothing without a force character in which to embed itself – the McGrith needs a structural charisma. It seems clear that Dizzy has sacrificed his mojo to the cause. McGrath will play at the Oval, but shortly after that he will disappear from the scene – mystery will surround the event. But Dizzy, in his new starring stooge role on Pizza, will have a full understanding and a certain pride. From out of 2 great Australian bowlers, one youthful force, greater than any that have gone before it, comes to tear up the cricket world with its pace, its control, and phenomenal ability to move the ball in manners that not even the master of the dark Welsh art of reverse swing, Simon Jones, could imagine. He will be tall with a blonde mullet and he will mutter.

nervous excitement

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here is a link which captures the kind of nervous excitement that the cricket world is feeling in the final few hours of the lead up to the 4TH TEST. Personally I feel like I’ve suddenly turned left handed, it is as though every movement I make has never been made before. I have no maps for this. Tonight I am going to the ballet. I am more than a little confused, will El Warno be dancing there, and do they allow raw meat at the ballet?

the future of cricket

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Now that cricket is sexy and all cricketers are going to be superstars, here’s a bit of a prediction from one of the many cricket prophets that I regularly consult. I showed the sage this picture of Warney – this is the future they saw:

Gilly seems a bit concerned, it’s like he’s the on field grooming expert. He’s probably got a bit of concealer and lip gloss tucked away in his pocket, a bit of hairspray and the like for quick touch ups. With all the hair on the field these days it’s only a matter of time. No more tea breaks – makeovers instead of overs.

remember the good times

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One of my International Research Assistants of Mystery found these postings to the Deluxe Bicycle Club’s Chat Group – reminding us of that magical first test where le tour and le ashes melted into one another as if in a dream (and Australia were still comfy winners):

Comments: …Brett Lee’s next ball to Vinokourov is short of a length, Vino opens the shoulders and swings but miss cues and the ball skews high, high into the air and just past the outstretched fingers of Gillespie who is fielding at deep mid wicket. Dizzy stumbles backwards and pulls up just short of a giddy precipice and just in time too as, moments later, a breakaway group of riders containing Cadel Evans, Michael Rasmussen and Shane Warne plummeted by on the treacherous descent of the Col du Telegraph and, I don’t know about you Phil, but I think Warney’s been sneaking powerbars out of the KOM’s musette bag…

Comments: Brilliant mate, love it.

But will Warney be dropped on the first climb up the stands to Col de Bay 13?Or will he attack as they descend from the outer?

Now we just need a pommie equivalent to Gabrielle Gate to bring us some fine gordon blue brit cuisine b4 the first over.

C’arn Cadel.