Monthly Archives: December 2006

player profile for kp

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(mostly its actually about warney)

lindsay lohan : meangirls

those bars i had him drinking him

putting on weight him drinking

down those bars

hell take whatever ya tell

him putting on weight

now im queen bee those ruby lips cant excite me anymore

he channels all his brilliance into sport

all that he can sap from the world i didnt see it til now

he always had his revenge

from the top of the stair him casting a satisfied gaze

over the boiling crowd

he controls

people are owned by

him regina george makes all the sluts fugly and the purer ones

exquisite by precise degrees

the strategy is impeccable see him

executing a 3 way calling attack

him ponting buchanan

his conference calling techniques are honed

you should see him

disseminating information yeah the gags

dont make him laugh they only make him feel like catching

practice

fishing buddies 3

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in the early hours haydos and symmo took a boat out on the bay looking to catch something to throw on the barbie for a late team breakfast. as they stared at the water and scrutinised the currents they reflected upon what they had done. waiting for the bites they knew would come they were not strangers to remorse. as soon as a big one is landed though theyll forget these less certain feelings and theyll want nothing more than to complete the increasingly savage whitewash.

the saddest most frightening thing for england (and cricket generally given how great freddie should be) is they way in which flintoff is taking on, more and more each day the series continues, the aspect of nasser hussein. lucky it was only a 3 day test.

rudi koertzen is statuesque.

day 17 poem

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andrew symonds v matthew hayden

weve landed some good fish before

but thats only ever been back on earth

out in a tinnie staring at the currents

from under our classic xxxx visors

only the great outdoors man up north

planet earth is blue today but looking at it through

quasars its colours are quickly changing n

yd no longer callem fish or visors out here dunno

what weve jagged but fuck its

sizeable haydos told me these interstellar pink

gripsd come in handy

the warney-mcgrath trophy

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first innings runs analysis

i should go

cut my salty hair

or see how blonde it can get

now warneys after tributes

he deserves

he deserves

mcgrath

& mcgrath god that partnership

god gone

gone man

gone

first innings dismissals analysis

I MADE

SUCH A

GREAT SPAGHETTI

BOLOGNAISE IT

ACTUALLY MADE

ME WARNEY

not out

FUCKIN LADIES

LIKE SEA

GULLS MOVE

IN SALTWATER

first innings over/runs analysis

I

CUT

MY

HAIR

SO

DAM

SPARKLING

ITS

MADE

ME

WARNEY

FEELS

SO

GOOD

FEELS

SO

GOOD

MUTTER

MAN

LIKES

THE

SMELL

OF

MULLET

ON

HIS

GULLS

DISTRACT

THE

BATSMEN

IM

COMIN

IN

TO

BOWL

SUCKER

BALL

AFTER

SUCKER

BALL

GOT

EM

MES

MERISED

BY

MY

RHYTHM

AND YR

GLAM

day 15 poems

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el warno waca glam

get on with it

the patriotisms unbearable the expectation n

nerves were ready to get on with it

m

fingers n lips twitter m hair n

yr loss s already a whitewash

yr courage yr stupidity m fairytales n

jokes about balls r rarely off

target ________ sucker

m overs are flower bursts better

learn how to twitter sucker its good to be 3

– 0 up

swans n sunsets the groundsman makes

a thin line on an empty field i bwld m heart out

cn no longer stop

to sympathise

suck on that which is still to come

m hair m rocks yr loss twitter

and another in the series of player profiles – this one i wrote long ago

player profile of matthew hayden

le comte de monte cristo

everything is considered

rising flowers n falling confetti

touch the spaceman

s hidden face

the avenging god has

made way for my

heavy oriental textures n

the charm of the sun n

othing happens by chance anymore

waca 5 retURN

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thats the nature of our enterprise cant stop to sympathise now youve been tantalised

cricket slept for just over twelve months it has barely arisen and the ashes are already back in the right place. yesterday cricket woke up with a fervour for revenge. today is all sunsets over the indian ocean.

in exacting his vengeance the count of monte cristo often feels a tear in his eye. toward the end of the book he returns to the chateau d’if to remind himself what his enterprise has all been about. i imagine matthew hayden at this very moment is on a flight to the oval. the revenge does not stop here.