play! fantasy cricket poem

to play fantasy cricket poem simply select your fantasy poem from the lines provided. each poemselecta will select a total of 11 lines. these 11 lines must be made up of 4 batting lines, 4 bowling lines, 2 allrounder lines and a wktkeeping line. there are few rules governing the order in which the lines should appear. no batting line can appear below line 7; no bowling line should appear above line 6; allrounder lines should not appear below line 8. a typical example of a line order is as follows:

batting

batting

allrounder

batting

batting

allrounder

bowling

wktkeeping

bowling

bowling

bowling

once the poems selected please submit it as a comment to this post. certain poems may be chosen to be played off against other poems in either test ODI or T20 formats depending on the time ive to spare. the scorecards for these matches will be posted on this blog

therere no penalties for modifying lines. this practice though not necessarily bad is undoubtedly cheating

batting

1. thats that white cat thats those white cars

2. wield the goosey 1 end turny 1 end bouncy

3. biff bam

4. thought it was the police it was just the beasties

5. cant stand losin scooters that appear human

6. delivery n dispersal dalai lama cops flying food

7. smash it over the mtn over mid wkt into the valley

8. stadium lights the mist from mtn glaciers

9. glaciers sit losing shape when glaciers stand

10. from their places masses move stark as laws

11. m eye deep in an umpires eye

12. need to utilise m powerful arms

13. yuvi in a tree watching cricket

14. eyes lose shape

15. is it shaun marsh ors it tim winton

16. if ya patient the perfect wavell come to you

17. hope yr in yr eye n dont 20 something pursuit

18. puma pumice it remains a very big one

19. makes cream

20. fine enough

21. dont you ever call me by m christian name again ever

22. a foil through the umpires eye

23. football meat pies roos n wilsons holden cars

24. been shopping for stones

25. even glaciers stand

26. m bursting fruit

27. irrational area of the ground

28. dalai lamas dispensing calm holds catches in the stands

29. achievements a handkerchief

30. small foil shorts

allrounder

1. hip swivel rip snorta

2. n shape runs rampant

3. i drown in the spray of phenomena

4. from their places masses move storks

5. sperm gangstas members stand

6. m head deep in a whales pelvis

7. foil shorts long legs

8. shaun marsh creams

9. burrowmound

10. as if id been handed the keys to timezone

11. twice in 1 delivery time stops

12. raining runs in the city of runs

13. raining runs in the city of rain

14. mtn topsre standing room only

15. not blingstones or moonstones

16. bought a moonsnail

17. plants feet nails

18. is nailed

19. irrational area of the hospital

wktkeeper

1. cant stand

2. small foil shots

3. out the kitchen window

4. hussey in green

5. crickets great

6. quantities

7. sangakarra flies through scenic ports

8. intricacies of beauty

bowling

1. solar calculator

2. losin scooters that appear human

3. the grey cloud sends

4. mtn dew nothing like anything

5. groins iridescent w electricity

6. a shiver

7. ballsre heavy w sacrifice

8. the werewolf speaks for the wolf how is that?

9. run from the mtns

10. to the crease to the sea

11. rooftopsre sold out

12. the kendo might improve m batting

13. whats a sportsstar?

14. calls a zombelephant

15. if yr perfect the patient wave

16. passes through the eye of the umpire

17. umar akmal enters the kingdom of the zomb

18. how is that

19. wombants mounds a burrow

20. reschs dinner ale

21. topknotsre standing on the rooftops

22. a foil through the umpires eye

23. waves a perfect tortoise

24. irrational field of the field

25. yeah yas shouldve talked about the cricket

26. is nailed

27. it will require a replacement kookaburra

28. screamer dougies comeback plants

29. foil wrapped pelvis

30. m arses wrapped in foil the

This entry was posted in The Ashes and tagged by Nick Whittock. Bookmark the permalink.

About Nick Whittock

Nick Whittock’s 2nd book hows its (inken publisch) will be ready for the summer. In 2012 he had a chapbook published in the Vagabond Rare Objects series. It has a picture of a cricket bat on the front cover. His first book's cover was a reproduction of a photograph of cricketers lying on the ground.

11 thoughts on “play! fantasy cricket poem

  1. team 543

    plants feet nails

    out the kitchen window

    small foil shorts

    is nailed

    football meat pies roos n wilsons holden cars

    smash it over the mtn over mid wkt into the valley

    it will require a replacement kookaburra

    irrational area of the hospital

    run from the mtns

    topknotsre standing on the rooftops

    waves a perfect tortoise

  2. been shopping for stones

    bought a moonsnail

    cant stand losin scooters that appear human

    m head deep in a whales pelvis

    hussey in green

    achievements a handkerchief

    smash it over the mtn over mid wkt into the valley

    rooftopsre sold out

    ballsre heavy w sacrifice

    a shiver

    whats a sportsstar?

  3. The Golden Age ‘Strayan List:

    1. Dyson J

    2. Wood G

    3. Yallop G

    4. Chappell G

    5. Hughes K

    6. Hookes D

    7. Marsh R

    8. Lillee D

    9. Pascoe L

    10. Yardley B

    11. Alderman T

    Once you’ve got the playing list, the lines more or less select themselves, but you still have to play them with a sense of timing…

    Dalai Lama’s dispensing calm, holds catches in the stands,

    even glaciers stand

    raining runs in the city of rain.

    Mountaintops are standing-room only,

    achievements, a handkerchief,

    biff bam.

    Quantities

    (groins) iridescent with electricity.

    The werewolf speaks for the wolf: How IS that?

    “If you’re perfect, the patient wave

    passes through the eye of the umpire.”

  4. sangakarra flies through scenic ports

    stadium lights the mist from mtn glaciers

    dont you ever call me by m christian name again ever

    need to utilise m powerful arms

    if ya patient the perfect wavell come to you

    m head deep in a whales pelvis

    as if id been handed the keys to timezone

    ballsre heavy w sacrifice

    the werewolf speaks for the wolf how is that?

    a foil through the umpires eye

    it will require a replacement kookaburra

  5. First we pick a team that complies with selection policy (note, the all-rounders here are Yallop and Chappell):

    1. Wood G

    2. Dyson J

    3. Yallop G

    4. Chappell G

    5. Hughes K

    6. Hookes D

    7. Marsh R

    8. Lillee D

    9. Pascoe L

    10. Yardley B

    11. Alderman T

    Then, if we translate each of those names into the most appropriate poetic line, I think the poem more or less writes itself:

    thought it was the police it was just the beasties

    dalai lamas dispensing calm holds catches in the stands

    raining runs in the city of rain

    i drown in the spray of phenomena

    eyes lose shape

    biff bam

    cant stand

    reschs dinner ale

    the werewolf speaks for the wolf how is that?

    if yr perfect the patient wave

    passes through the eye of the umpire

  6. small foil shorts

    hip swivel rip snorta

    makes cream

    fine enough

    intricacies of beauty

    eyes lose shape

    sperm gangstas members stand

    a shiver

    groins irridescent with electricity

    run from the mountains

    is nailed

  7. glaciers sit losing shape when glaciers stand

    from their places masses move stark as laws

    fine enough

    eyes lose shape

    burrowmound

    raining runs in the city of runs

    passes through the eye of the umpire

    cant stand

    foil wrapped pelvis

    run from the mtns

    groins iridescent w electricity

  8. Batting wield the goosey 1 end turny 1 end bouncy

    wktkeeping intricacies of beauty

    batting makes cream

    umar akmal enters the kingdom of the zomb

    how is that

    football meat pies roos n wilsons holden cars

    hip swivel rip snorta

    plants feet nails

    mtn dew nothing like anything

    umar akmal enters the kingdom of the zomb

    is nailed

    if yr perfect the patient wave

  9. eyes lose shape

    eyes lose shape

    as if id been handed the keys to timezone

    smash it over the mtn

    over mid wkt into the valley

    …over mid wkt into the valley

    hip swivel rip snorta

    it will require a replacement kookaburra

    a shiver

    cant stand

    a shiver

  10. would this side win a match?

    unknown, hardly concerning.

    Tomek says you’ll win the day!

    Just hit a length, sway before it hits you back.

    quantities

    m bursting fruit

    raining runs in the city of runs

    is it shaun marsh ors it tim winton

    raining runs in the city of rain

    m eye deep in an umpires eye

    n shape runs rampant

    to the crease to the sea

    a shiver

    foil wrapped pelvis

    is nailed

  11. if ya patient the perfect wavell come to you

    from their places masses move stark as laws

    n shape runs rampant

    eyes lose shape

    glaciers sit losing shape when glaciers stand

    n shape runs rampant

    quantities

    run from the mtns

    ballsre heavy w sacrifice

    if yr perfect the patient wave

    a foil through the umpires eye

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