test
Category Archives: The Ashes
rest day
cricket forces a rigorous relentless thinking of failure. in cricket failure is always opposed by glory. both are present and the net magnitude is zero. an error is always coupled with a perfect execution. the perfect execution isn’t always the result of skill being applied perfectly. an imperfect delivery can induce an error (clara tice) as much as any perfectly executed plan. so perfect execution resides in the domain of chance. a chancey conglomeration of events. when its perfect the net magnitude is zero. isn’t it always perfect? how can any delivery be anything other than perfect when viewed as the conglomerate it is – with the shot, the fielders, umpires, commentators… glory / failure error/perfect execution … never with any value. cricket levels. the individual cricketer probably doesn’t remember it like this. the pain they felt was too great for them to have been a part of nothing. the joy so immense it was surely a part of something.
but this is only personal nostalgia – based in cultures of vengeance cultures of heroism cultures of style…
the film ‘the final test’ begins with an american arriving in london keen to examine and understand all elements of english culture. the very first thing he is confronted with is newspaper headlines : england on verge of collapse ; england may collapse today… he is shocked by the countrys pessimism. quickly though he learns that the papers are referring to a test match being played against australia at kennington oval and immediately heads to the ground to watch. hutton bats superbly it rains a bit and england bat for 2 days to achieve the draw. the headlines australia produced to during and after the melbourne test would have had the american wondering why australians are such haters, so venomous and scornful. awful terrible A DISGRACE. All commentary is obviously lies but it has an impact on crickets personell. It impacts on the depth of failure they feel and on the glorious heights they attain. At a nostalgic level it plays its part in the conglomerate that produces zero. at some point nostalgia and chance become bound together. nostalgia and skill. nostalgia and error. nostalgia and reverse swing. nostalgia and the cut shot. nostalgia/chance and skill. nostalgia/chance and error. nostalgia/chance and reverse swing. nostalgia/chance and the cut shot. eventually cricket forces a relentless thinking of failure and chance.
day 8 : clara will be captain!
day 7 : warnes way
warne understands contagion – the way elements infect each other and unify through proximity. a long and ridiculous conversation between warne / taylor / greig about whether the batsmens wristband constitutes part of his bat. the replay clearly showed the ball brushing watsons elbow. had it hit the wristband and had the wristband been touching the wriststrap of the glove watson should have been out – the wristband becoming bat through a series of connections, bat, glove, wriststrap, wristband. taylor was able (so he believed) to prove warne wrong through a literal reading of the law. the glove and its wriststrap were defined as one entity – manufactured as such. the wristband could come into contact with the greater glove but it could never be glove (and therefore never bat). the laws hypocrisy is already evident as the glove only becomes bat through contact – in fact, as soon as the glove leaves the handle of the bat it ceases to be deemed bat (from memory the fate of the 2005 ashes series rests on this issue and the result of the series could still be reversed if retrospective referrals are brought in). the vital significance of warnes way of understanding is played out at another level. the difference in this test compared to the previous 2 is that the cook n trott entity hasnt been in the game. cook n trott (glove wristband shirtsleeve … sweeping up the world into its oneness) have been kept apart. trott has had to attempt to bat with strauss, pietersen etc. the connection is different. though a strip of watsons flesh was
visible between the wriststrap of the glove and his wristband it did not stop warne from recognising the potential for contagion – from recognising possible leaps. trott lacking cook has not yet made this leap. strauss seems irrelevant.
at the waca the wind blows into ian chappells eyes n makes him squint n gives him headaches the sun beats on the pitch n the glare makes him squint n though he normally even now never suffers from headaches it gives him a headache like barbados
day 5
husseys zinc
at the end of 5 long days finally for the first time this summer i get to sit down with a beer and watch some test cricket. seems to have transported to the waca seems australia are in the doldrums but putting on a last gasp little resistance firing glimmers of hope claras innings was a flicker counter attacking attractive aggression rock back n smash but his intensity went unrewarded the freedom with which he was playing left him loose outside off n he dragged 1 on. finns deliveries were leaping viciously off lengths often far too short but when they were up they had the wagtails hopping reactions were on. watsons reactions were on. the retravision hoardings induced a feeling of nostalgia but the nostalgia inspired was being defined in the moment – the hoardings were stating something nicely unforgettable i was remembering
day 4
day 3 : how longs?
england bat on 4ever, its seems as though weeksve passed and barely a wkts fallen. cook n trott. earlier strauss and lately KP. thats as much of the order theyve had to use over seemingly weeks of piling on runs. cook n trott have transcended individuality nre now a coupling. these names no longer sound alone. this name : cook n trott.
day 2 : how longs hussey been gone? its been a while a right
2010/11 ashes day 1 : sorry actually cricket is amazing
cricketers know about failure – they know it constantly. it is conceivable that it could become too much. that a cricketer could lose interest or become distracted. there is no problem – there is nothing unusual – here. cricketers also know how things progress, change, modulate. at times it is surprising change or a modulation has effects that could never have been predicted. a chance remark can inspire a new dream and what was previously important well mister it vanishes into the air. it is also known that vanished forms can always return. the mythology of the ashes is steeped in this. english cricket dies at the hands of australian cricket and is cremated. the ashes henceforth played every 2 years. teams lose form teams gain form from time to time the urn changes hands. before today cricket was off the radar. but the ashes brought it! brought it big time. diddle had been out due to injury for some time. a selection panel watching his progress closely – a bug implanted in his head. the indications were favourable. he had been working concertedly on developing his butt, altering his body shape to better fit it to the rigours of test fast bowling. the power he was feeling within himself was transmitted to the panel and the call was made to include the reformed diddle in the team. the new form happened to have a birthday today. it was not by chance. today diddle initiated his birth 26 years ago. 26 years ago today he was born for today. sometimes time works like that. diddle conceived himself today. as he grew and roared into heroic god form upon dismissing broad for his hat trick diddle created the conditions for his birth 26 years ago today. sometimes time works that way.
nothing interesting was happening after lunch. hilfenhaus and watson were bowling wide of offstump and swinging it further away. bell and cook were playing brilliantly off their toes to anything straighter. they were patient, waiting for it. they had no idea. diddle came on and started similarly wide. there was nothing to indicate the approaching rupture. it happened while the viewers were fetching cups of tea or on the toilet or had popped down to the workshop to do some routine bicycle maintenance or change a sprocket. things were in the balance. cricket v the distractions. next thing …
the bell form also reached for the chance to be born 4eva today but failed at the last. theres always another chance until there isn’t anymore.
play! fantasy cricket poem
to play fantasy cricket poem simply select your fantasy poem from the lines provided. each poemselecta will select a total of 11 lines. these 11 lines must be made up of 4 batting lines, 4 bowling lines, 2 allrounder lines and a wktkeeping line. there are few rules governing the order in which the lines should appear. no batting line can appear below line 7; no bowling line should appear above line 6; allrounder lines should not appear below line 8. a typical example of a line order is as follows:
batting
batting
allrounder
batting
batting
allrounder
bowling
wktkeeping
bowling
bowling
bowling
once the poems selected please submit it as a comment to this post. certain poems may be chosen to be played off against other poems in either test ODI or T20 formats depending on the time ive to spare. the scorecards for these matches will be posted on this blog
therere no penalties for modifying lines. this practice though not necessarily bad is undoubtedly cheating
batting
1. thats that white cat thats those white cars
2. wield the goosey 1 end turny 1 end bouncy
3. biff bam
4. thought it was the police it was just the beasties
5. cant stand losin scooters that appear human
6. delivery n dispersal dalai lama cops flying food
7. smash it over the mtn over mid wkt into the valley
8. stadium lights the mist from mtn glaciers
9. glaciers sit losing shape when glaciers stand
10. from their places masses move stark as laws
11. m eye deep in an umpires eye
12. need to utilise m powerful arms
13. yuvi in a tree watching cricket
14. eyes lose shape
15. is it shaun marsh ors it tim winton
16. if ya patient the perfect wavell come to you
17. hope yr in yr eye n dont 20 something pursuit
18. puma pumice it remains a very big one
19. makes cream
20. fine enough
21. dont you ever call me by m christian name again ever
22. a foil through the umpires eye
23. football meat pies roos n wilsons holden cars
24. been shopping for stones
25. even glaciers stand
26. m bursting fruit
27. irrational area of the ground
28. dalai lamas dispensing calm holds catches in the stands
29. achievements a handkerchief
30. small foil shorts
allrounder
1. hip swivel rip snorta
2. n shape runs rampant
3. i drown in the spray of phenomena
4. from their places masses move storks
5. sperm gangstas members stand
6. m head deep in a whales pelvis
7. foil shorts long legs
8. shaun marsh creams
9. burrowmound
10. as if id been handed the keys to timezone
11. twice in 1 delivery time stops
12. raining runs in the city of runs
13. raining runs in the city of rain
14. mtn topsre standing room only
15. not blingstones or moonstones
16. bought a moonsnail
17. plants feet nails
18. is nailed
19. irrational area of the hospital
wktkeeper
1. cant stand
2. small foil shots
3. out the kitchen window
4. hussey in green
5. crickets great
6. quantities
7. sangakarra flies through scenic ports
8. intricacies of beauty
bowling
1. solar calculator
2. losin scooters that appear human
3. the grey cloud sends
4. mtn dew nothing like anything
5. groins iridescent w electricity
6. a shiver
7. ballsre heavy w sacrifice
8. the werewolf speaks for the wolf how is that?
9. run from the mtns
10. to the crease to the sea
11. rooftopsre sold out
12. the kendo might improve m batting
13. whats a sportsstar?
14. calls a zombelephant
15. if yr perfect the patient wave
16. passes through the eye of the umpire
17. umar akmal enters the kingdom of the zomb
18. how is that
19. wombants mounds a burrow
20. reschs dinner ale
21. topknotsre standing on the rooftops
22. a foil through the umpires eye
23. waves a perfect tortoise
24. irrational field of the field
25. yeah yas shouldve talked about the cricket
26. is nailed
27. it will require a replacement kookaburra
28. screamer dougies comeback plants
29. foil wrapped pelvis
30. m arses wrapped in foil the