The ashes are going to be free to air.

Meanwhile in nz the Black Caps coach John Bracewell has been outraged by the force with which Adam Gilchrist relentlessly hit the ball in yesterday’s one dayer. He claims that Gilchrist had been consistently and deliberately hitting the ball with such power that the nz players feared for their personal safety – “and its not the first time he’s done it to us either,” Bracewell continued, “I don’t see how it can be accidental. He does it to everyone. This sort of intimidation shouldn’t be allowed to continue, someone is going to get hurt. If it happens in Australia he could be sued. They have precedents for taking legal action there.” Bracewell also complained that Gilchrist had shown no remorse for his violent actions.

In his column in The Age, Peter Roebuck has called for Gilchrist’s immediate axing from the Australia side for the rest of the nz tour and expressed doubts as to whether the wicket-keeper batsman should be allowed to play in the ashes unless he is able to demonstrate a rehabilitation of his ‘dangerously out of control’ hitting.

Last Friday’s 20 20 match was played in exacly the spirit 20 20 should be played, though the Australian’s looked like the person at the fancy dress party who hadn’t read the invitation thoroughly enough to realise that it was a fancy dress party. The nz team really took all the accolades that mattered in this match. No one really cares who won.

Tasmania’s Ing final win made the world happy. Especially seeing as one of the Tiger’s players is named Geeves, which suddenly justifies an emergent Wodehouse theme in this commentary. Give young Geeves a bit of grease for his hair and the boy could almost be a beyond-the-call-of dutiful valet of unsurpassed intellect and feudal devotion.

The Hayden prophecies are playing themselves out nicely.

In a press conference just closed pm howard has announced that any household with more cricket bats than people will be able to apply to the government to have their Foxtel installation & subscription costs for the upcoming ashes tour paid in full by the state.

Steve Waugh is building a cricket city on the outskirts of Kolkata. If you read to the bottom of the short article you’ll see that Sourav Ganguly is also setting up a cricket academy. Hearts delight at the thought of the combats that will be waged between the two schools – I imagine that it will overtake even the international test world championship as the highest, most testing, level of the game. The legends will begin – It was on the dusty outskirts of Kolkata…

McGrath, famous not only for his muttering on the pitch but also his (more eloquent and incisive) muttering in the lead up to big series, has begun his ashes campaign early. Though admirable his efforts pale in comparison to those described by Grantlee Kieza from the Sunday Telegraph (article not freely available online):

“Jonah” Jones was Australia’s best fast bowler in the years between the Demon Spofforth and Tibby Cotter. Decades before Steve Waugh’s stormtroopers wrote the manual on sledging, the Broken Hill Catapult would row out to meet ships bringing England players to Fremantle. Megaphone cupped to his big mouth and his voice booming like a crowd’s roar, he’d shout “100 to one England for the Tests” or “you blokes haven’t got a chance”.

Next time some cricket team comes to tour Australia I want to see McGrath, Hayden, Warne and amicable colleagues lining the fence at the arrivals gate, taking part in a hell of a lot of soul destroying muttering – perhaps dressed in stormtrooper uniforms and certainly with megaphones. Placards with arrows on them pointing the way to the departure lounge, witty muttering to the rough point that the tourists would be better off not wasting everybody’s time.

Its great to see that Australia & nz will be donning 80’s style gear for the 20 20 match tomorrow. Nz back in beige or fawn or whatever that colour was (does that colour still exist?). Anyway I’m betting and hoping desperately that with all this ardent sentimentality the last ball of the match will be bowled underarm.

It was very nice on the weekend to forget about all the high drama of international cricket and settle down and watch a bit of the domestic stuff. Its great to listen to the commentators finding things to say about players they don’t even know in games that barely anyone watches. Bill Lawry had an emphatic opinion on that Shaun Tait – “he’s as raw as meat.” On the other hand, in the same game Darren Lehmann made the most unattractive half century I’ve ever seen. I’m sure that beneath the superficial appearance Lehmann is still as sweet a cricketer as there ever has been.

The second final was possibly the most uninteresting game of the whole tournament. I think I was just tired of one day cricket. Throughout the whole tournament I found myself wishing that it was just a test series against the West Indies.

We missed one of the most interesting parts of the day, those opening overs that Gilchrist punished. We saw the end of Gillies innings, after which all the Australian batsmen became somewhat reclusive, and seemed unable to play any shots. This was reflected in the scores not getting above 50. Even Clarke batted slowly, perhaps Hayden had given him a dirty look previous to his innings, making him feel vulnerable. Martyn batted stylishly as usual, until he decided to turn halfway down the wicket and race Katich back to the same end. The crowd was bored with what was a largely forgettable innings. There was nothing going on anywhere. Cricket was asleep. Maybe it was the heat. One of those Sydney summer days in which you swim through the air as if it was liquid. Try to restrict movement to the minimum to avoid losing precious fluids. But as the sun was going down Gillespie kept his movement at the crease to an absolute minimum, and made way for McGrath. The sleeping masses awoke, and gave a rousing reception to the home town hero. Everyone was delighted at actually seeing Glenn bat in an ODI. And he didn’t dissappoint with a beautifully timed and perfectly placed french cut for 4 off his first ball, the hat trick ball. The only possible shot for a number 11 off such a ball. Certainly deliberate. After all, McGrath is known for his larrikinism.

The Aussies came out to bowl, and there was never any doubt that they would bowl themselves to an easy victory. Glenn maintained his perfect placement and timing. & Lee was unbelievable. Razzaq and Afridi once gave a little interest back to the game, but it was a brief effort this time around.

The crowd was bored again, and resorted to fighting each other and getting thrown out.
KW, Sydney.

Response:
I think the game is being sold short. It was sleepy sure but I was deeply into the Pakistan innings. With their almost reversed batting order they reinvent the game. They could lose five wkts in the first over and still be a good chance. They give away the first 3 wkts as quickly as possible to get the real batsmen in. They need to work on this, perhaps lose these wkts more quickly. As each wkt fell one felt Pakistan were more & more of a chance, i found it incredibly exciting and the excitement was a new modulation on the standard one-day excitement. Growing depsite all these contra movements that were suggesting the game should be given up on. It was a desperate struggle to keep watching – akin to moving through the Sydney air. There was a point where Razzaq hit McGrath for a four which put Pakistan right back on top. The very next ball McGrath dismissed him, defeated by McGrath’s absolute playability – McGrath is never unplayable, this is his genius. If only Razzaq could have left it alone Pakistan would have won.

The mountain of support continues to gather particles. (Scroll down the linked pages to find comments).

All week he’s been crumpled & rumpled and unshaven, today he is so hungry for runs that, while he’s all spic & happy again, his stomach’s turned nasty. Beware the wrath nz, beware the fever & be consumed.