player profile for kp

(mostly its actually about warney)

lindsay lohan : meangirls

those bars i had him drinking him

putting on weight him drinking

down those bars

hell take whatever ya tell

him putting on weight

now im queen bee those ruby lips cant excite me anymore

he channels all his brilliance into sport

all that he can sap from the world i didnt see it til now

he always had his revenge

from the top of the stair him casting a satisfied gaze

over the boiling crowd

he controls

people are owned by

him regina george makes all the sluts fugly and the purer ones

exquisite by precise degrees

the strategy is impeccable see him

executing a 3 way calling attack

him ponting buchanan

his conference calling techniques are honed

you should see him

disseminating information yeah the gags

dont make him laugh they only make him feel like catching

practice

the warney-mcgrath trophy

first innings runs analysis

i should go

cut my salty hair

or see how blonde it can get

now warneys after tributes

he deserves

he deserves

mcgrath

& mcgrath god that partnership

god gone

gone man

gone

first innings dismissals analysis

I MADE

SUCH A

GREAT SPAGHETTI

BOLOGNAISE IT

ACTUALLY MADE

ME WARNEY

not out

FUCKIN LADIES

LIKE SEA

GULLS MOVE

IN SALTWATER

first innings over/runs analysis

I

CUT

MY

HAIR

SO

DAM

SPARKLING

ITS

MADE

ME

WARNEY

FEELS

SO

GOOD

FEELS

SO

GOOD

MUTTER

MAN

LIKES

THE

SMELL

OF

MULLET

ON

HIS

GULLS

DISTRACT

THE

BATSMEN

IM

COMIN

IN

TO

BOWL

SUCKER

BALL

AFTER

SUCKER

BALL

GOT

EM

MES

MERISED

BY

MY

RHYTHM

AND YR

GLAM

day 15 poems

el warno waca glam

get on with it

the patriotisms unbearable the expectation n

nerves were ready to get on with it

m

fingers n lips twitter m hair n

yr loss s already a whitewash

yr courage yr stupidity m fairytales n

jokes about balls r rarely off

target ________ sucker

m overs are flower bursts better

learn how to twitter sucker its good to be 3

– 0 up

swans n sunsets the groundsman makes

a thin line on an empty field i bwld m heart out

cn no longer stop

to sympathise

suck on that which is still to come

m hair m rocks yr loss twitter

and another in the series of player profiles – this one i wrote long ago

player profile of matthew hayden

le comte de monte cristo

everything is considered

rising flowers n falling confetti

touch the spaceman

s hidden face

the avenging god has

made way for my

heavy oriental textures n

the charm of the sun n

othing happens by chance anymore

day 10 poems

magnum ponting

mode warne perpetual

every note youve ever played

ham pineapple glamour on the hill

mcgraths cutter 2 2s in 2 hrs o england

this is a tough journey hussey

enjoys vultures monitor attitude devour uncertainty

angels appeal & grunt they have longevity

and bowling brains bones distributed

like gulls pressure solid

citizens clamour on the hill

useless water dont bradman like cricket

i sony it

and here’s one i prepared long before the series began :

player profile for ricky ponting

ahab

o you merry deep bowlers of

england where do you lead

me so silently my savage crew

my cheekbones

ache with longing beneath my

ruined face

my monomaniac object

harmison i have taken on your bones

long bones i choose you

harmison

i will dismember my

dismemberer

adelaide oval forever – day 4, or, to be inside the head of a channel 9 cricket commentator

as the day began the excitement was the same as in the lead up to day 1 in brisbane. it was as if the ashes were commencing all over again. everything was totally back on. every delivery was going to be vital. the game was about to explode into action. one explosive period of play from any cricketer could turn the series. gilchrist began to explode. shortly after he brought up his 50 bill lawry had him on a hundred before lunch. this made me think about how wonderful it would be to reside for a while inside the head of a channel 9 cricket commentator – the scenarios that get played out there, the fantastic ecstasies they live through. when warne reached 22 heals had him reaching his maiden test century.

throughout the early periods of play gilchrist was visibly and bravely battling his own fragility. he was circumspect and feeling for things that may or may not have been there. as i watched i could see these feelings becoming more certain. the explosion began to take shape. travesty of travesty when he fell to giles. giles had nothing but his own awful bowling to thank for the wkt. his only weapon is how poor his bowling is. i was actually getting quite angry watching him bowl today. i dont like writing negative stuff about test cricketers mostly i think theyre all frikkin ace, but im afraid ashley crossed a threshold today – im not going to hold back, he is shithouse. warne was fresh at the crease. it was really the moment for england to launch one last big press to keep the chance of victory alive. astoundingly giles went over the wkt and bowled into the rough outside leg stump. warney just kept padding him away. i found giles decision making completely unbelievable. warne himself resorted to this tactic during england’s first innings, but it was forced upon him by the new planet, the new god. giles was bowling to warne and he still had no belief that he could actually get him out. giles was as full of fear of the batting prowess of warne as warne had been of pietersen. ashley giles is a bane to the game of cricket. one can easily envisage, even without being a channel 9 cricket commentator, that had giles bowled in any ordinary combative manner, england could have gone into the second innings still leading by 130 runs or so. the sooner he is poached by the english lawn bowls team the better for cricket.

it was nice watching clarke reading the shape of the deliveries.

oh yeah and clarke was dropped by giles off his own bowling – a chance that giles barely remembered even to make an effort to catch. instead he ended up in this lawn bowls pose.

day 7 poem

since david fine’s been writing poems to the tune of various little well known ditties i thought id take a liberty

to the tune of the unguarded moment (the church) and the character array of mean girls

see him disseminating information

i knew youd find him drinking

down those bars with carbs for dust

yeah the gags dont make me laugh

they only make me feel like catching

practice

(key : the first person (lohan) is KP the 3rd is el warno the 2nd is ponting & buchanan )