the warney-mcgrath trophy

first innings runs analysis

i should go

cut my salty hair

or see how blonde it can get

now warneys after tributes

he deserves

he deserves

mcgrath

& mcgrath god that partnership

god gone

gone man

gone

first innings dismissals analysis

I MADE

SUCH A

GREAT SPAGHETTI

BOLOGNAISE IT

ACTUALLY MADE

ME WARNEY

not out

FUCKIN LADIES

LIKE SEA

GULLS MOVE

IN SALTWATER

first innings over/runs analysis

I

CUT

MY

HAIR

SO

DAM

SPARKLING

ITS

MADE

ME

WARNEY

FEELS

SO

GOOD

FEELS

SO

GOOD

MUTTER

MAN

LIKES

THE

SMELL

OF

MULLET

ON

HIS

GULLS

DISTRACT

THE

BATSMEN

IM

COMIN

IN

TO

BOWL

SUCKER

BALL

AFTER

SUCKER

BALL

GOT

EM

MES

MERISED

BY

MY

RHYTHM

AND YR

GLAM

waca 2 v adelaide v

the lead up to the commencement of todays play felt hauntingly similar to the lead up to the 5th day at adelaide. australia needed wkts quick, one or two big partnerships could take the game away from them. at 11.43am on day 5 in adelaide strauss was given out caught at short leg and an english collapse ensued. replays showed that strauss had been hard done by, the ball coming straight off the pad with no involvement from the bat. at 11.43am in perth today strauss was given out caught behind. there was certainly a sound like ball hitting bat but replays showed that the two never met. from this point on england struggled.

in cricket time is never continuous. segments of time repeat themselves or appear out of sequence. many remember before the historic ashes series in 05 that mcgrath predicted a 5-0 result to australia. mcgrath predicted the same result previous to this series. there have been those who have laughed at for his tired prophetic attempts. but there is another possibility. in fact mcgrath only ever predicted the 5-0 result for the current ashes series. the moment of the prediction entered a purely cricket appropriate slippage and appeared prior to the 05 series. 05 5-0 is purely an error of memory. when the prediciton was repeated prior to the current series it was in fact being stated for the first time, the originary moment. 05 5-0 was one of those replays where for a moment you think you’re watching the live action and your heart feeling that a wkt has fallen enters your mouth for a moment .

takeshi kitano once made a film about baseball called boiling point (in english language world release anyway – in japanese release its called 3-4x 10 gatsu, which is something like the 3rd and 4th of october). discontinuity of time and narrative in this film is audaciously played out. film critic casio abe in his book takeshi kitano v beat takeshi discusses the films construction in terms of a theory of baseball. a distribution of characters and situations. at a very simple level a theory of cricket would seem to posit similar ideas. cricket is of course far more complex than baseball. kitano’s film i think is far more complex than baseball and in fact it is likely he uses baseball only as a culturally recognisable tool. if he had suggested a film about cricket it would have been far too obscure for any japanese production house. through this work kitano makes baseball into cricket.

pietersens range continues to expand wildly – rain god, new planet, anime fighter pilotdegas subject – the way he trips down the wkt and pirouettes v mcgrath.

day 12 poem : player profile of glenn mcgrath

charles bronson : once upon a time in the west

when henry fonda

shot him he was only a boy at

the same moment

not too far away the boy

is already grown into

the hardest of men

____________ and he is

counting on revenge

the mathematics is not difficult though

the victims have multiplied to

extraordinary powers

he can recall them all and

list their names a true lord of time

angels of vengeance do not forget hes

the fullness of time keep

adding and

whittlin til everything = 0

mcgarth

my loyal readers you may remember a scoop that was broken by one of my superlowkey cricket infiltrators back in 05 regarding glenn mcgrath and the transformation he was preparing himself to undergo immediately the right moment arrived. Further research into this unusual, perhaps slightly unreasonable, tactic of mcgraths reveals that it is not a new strategy, but in fact a process that has been going on since the beginning of time. As in the contemporary moment we await the morphing of glenn mcgrath into glinn mcgrith, there was a historical moment in which another cricketer passed into the mcgrath state. And before that a whole metempsychotic series of precedents to what is most easily referred to as glenn mcgrath. There is a character in popular japanese mythology known as gankutsuou, or the king of the caves. This figure is the immortal energy of purified revenge that embodies itself in chosen beings unleashing series of vengeful action. When gankutsuou leaves the cave & possesses its next fast bowler everything becomes vast & the rhythms of the cloud shapes are made significant by its power.

before glenn mcgrath there was garth mckenzie. if the anagrammatic closeness of the names and the matching smile lines around the eyes are not fully convincing, documentary evidence exists in which passers-by declare themselves to have witnessed the moment gankutsuou inhabited the garth. This line appears in garths player profile – nothing seemed to ruffle him, although when stirred he [was] possessed [by] a wicked bouncer.

day 10 poems

magnum ponting

mode warne perpetual

every note youve ever played

ham pineapple glamour on the hill

mcgraths cutter 2 2s in 2 hrs o england

this is a tough journey hussey

enjoys vultures monitor attitude devour uncertainty

angels appeal & grunt they have longevity

and bowling brains bones distributed

like gulls pressure solid

citizens clamour on the hill

useless water dont bradman like cricket

i sony it

and here’s one i prepared long before the series began :

player profile for ricky ponting

ahab

o you merry deep bowlers of

england where do you lead

me so silently my savage crew

my cheekbones

ache with longing beneath my

ruined face

my monomaniac object

harmison i have taken on your bones

long bones i choose you

harmison

i will dismember my

dismemberer

day 3

gm

mcgrath owns the deterioration in the pitch

ball played

pietersen tries to fit himself into the crease

zoom zoom

the things mcgrath can extract and magnify

what he can find

loves a good crack mythology

day 2

its gone high

right toward that beautiful blue sky – odonnell

early on nothing for england to hold on to. harmison is a very different kind of animal. he brings the game alive but this life anticipates width with a cruel humour – harmy flies into the outer reaches of ridicule. its kinda sad to watch. he has the ability and the limbs to throw everything back into those cruel laughing faces, if only he can regain control of those arms those long bones. today his width seemed infectious. england bowled poorly all morning.

slowly, overtime, they clawed their way back into some sort of distinction. thanks to concerted work by flintoff and hoggard there were glimmers of an england that could be competitive at some point in the series. by the end of his long long days in the field even harmison was at least improving.

things became very frivolous when warne came to the crease, a nice relief after the intensity of pontings effort. australia have learnt how to modulate innings. when they got their chance to bowl they (as always in the old days when we used to hold the ashes) gave england a lesson in how to bowl.

mcgraths 2 openers in 2 balls was a highly emotionally charged little period. after months out of the game at janes side, after the speculation as to whether he could ever get back, and playing in quite possibly his last test series in australia… the sentimentality in those 2 deliveries was huge.

warney bowled the flipper first up and it had kp fooled for a moment. love his frivolity. love the way he disseminates information. cracks and pointed gags.

the comedy & the savagery

Earlier in the day the cricket viewing world witnessed one of the great test match scores of 11 (unbeaten). Capably assisted by Michael Hussey (122) the MasterMutterer helped put on 107 for the final wkt. The SA field expanded and contracted, inhaled and exhaled as the two batsmen shared the strike to a precisely devised gameplan. If, on the fourth ball of the over, the field stayed spread, Hussey would push a single and the Master would face the last two deliveries. If the field contracted Hussey would smash the last two deliveries over the infield for either a 4 or 6 & the Master would be happy to see out a maiden the following over. The pattern was supremely executed. Crikey, its been a beautiful test match so far.

Gilchrist got some beautiful new keeping gloves for christmas too. White with gold flares down the back of the hand.